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This Sunday marks our one year anniversary. This past year has been full of ups, downs, surprises, and excitement. It’s crazy to think that one year has already gone by! To mark our one year anniversary we thought it would be appropriate to write what we’ve learned in our first year of marriage.
It takes work.
Ask any married couple and they’ll probably tell you that a successful marriage takes work. We heard this quite a lot and shrugged it off like any couple getting ready for marriage. But they’re right. Marriage does take work. Work to keep your relationship strong, work to keep things exciting, work on making yourself better and work on reaching your goals. It’s so easy to slip into a lethargic routine and stop dating each other. After all, you’re married, isn’t that the whole idea behind dating? Dating is essential to a marriage. You have to keep learning about your spouse, getting out in public and having awesome fun experiences with each other.
It Isn’t Hollywood
We all grew up with the happy kids movies. Boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, boy and girl get married and live happily ever after. What Hollywood skips over (because it’s easy) is that the “happily ever after” is 99% of the relationship. You just made the biggest and longest commitment of your life. Your partner’s annoying gum chomping habit (sorry Noelle), you get to listen to that for the rest of your life. And that’s part of Marriage, learning to not only accept your partners quirks, but to embrace them and love them because they are part of the person that you love.
It’s worth it
All the work it takes to be happily ever after is totally worth it. There is no greater feeling than knowing that I get to come home and hang out with my best friend. That I have someone to share life with, go on exciting adventures, grow with and love. It’s an amazing feeling to be able to share your life with someone, to have absolute trust that they will be there for you no matter what. Someone that brings happiness and joy into your life and does everything they can to make life the best it can be!
I have a kick ass wife.
If this past year of marriage has taught me anything it’s that I have an absolutely amazing and incredible wife. She is always doing fun things for me, letting me know that she loves me and is always there for me when I need a little pick me up. She makes me want to be a better man, she makes me excited for our future, and she makes me feel so incredibly lucky, thankful and blessed that we found each other. As cliché as it sounds, I can’t imagine how I went through my life without her. She has become an integral part of my life, someone I can always count on and my closest and best friend. She is incredibly caring, hardworking, and always knows how to make me laugh. I am so proud of her and the fact that I get to call her my wife.
I can’t wait to see what the next 50 years have in store for us!
Love you kiddo!
1. Go for a hike
Regardless of where you live you can always find a beautiful area to discover. Grab those tennis shoes and reconnect while burning calories!
2. Do a beer tasting
It seems that no matter what our month looks like Dino Boy and I somehow always end up spending a day in wine country and while I know he loves wine, I also know he would much rather drink a cold beer. Why not learn more about his favorite drink?
3. Go kayaking
There is something so beautiful and peaceful about being out on the water. With the beautiful weather this is a great spring activity!
4. Go to a baseball game
This is also one of those activities we do a lot and I always love it. While I may not enjoy cheering on the Giants (Go Red Sox!) I do love spending an evening outside with Dino Boy sharing a mutual love for the game.
5. Go to a museum after dark
Discovering museums certainly isn’t just for kids! There are plenty of places now that offer “after dark passes” that allow you to come after 6 pm and enjoy the space with a cocktail and the company of other adults. There is nothing better than learning, drinking and sharing the fun with your partner!
What do you do as a date activity?
I’ll be honest I’m a hormonal mess right now. Pms on top of wedding nerves means that there is an 80% chance Dino Boy comes home to me crying and has to figure out if these are happy or sad tears. The other day I was a wreck because of quite possible the cutest moment. I logged into that fun wedding spreadsheet I blogged about last week and saw one of the best aha moments I’ve ever had looking at an excel spreadsheet. On the relationship box my favorite boy put in our spot “soon to be family” You would think that I just finished the end of The Notebook at that moment. After finally getting my breath back and fixing my permanent raccoon eyes ( I swear even waterproof mascara isn’t helping me right now!) I was once again reminded the reason of all of this craziness. I’m becoming a family. I’m going to join another mini unit, one to call my own. There is a reason this moment s so emotionally charged. You are becoming one, one mini little family. One man that will be in my life forever. If that doesn’t make you cry happy tears I don’t know what will.
Dino Boy here to make another guest post for Wedding Wednesday. I had so much fun writing our engagement story that we decided I should come back for
an encore. Noelle had an idea that I should write an article about “why we work.” At first it seemed like a bit of a daunting task. My first thought was, we just do, it’s natural, end of article. But as I thought about it, I realized that there are a lot of factors that go into why we work. What I started to realize is that it’s not so much why we work, but all of the things we do to make it work. So with that in mind, I compiled a list of some of the important things we do.
I know this is a crazy one to start out with, but it’s really important. Ask any couple that’s been together for a long time and they will tell you that they fight. It is part of human nature, we’re going to disagree with each other and we both have our own passionate opinion. What allows us to work, though, is that we don’t fight to win, we don’t fight to hurt the other person, and we have learned how to fight with each other.
At the end of a fight we forgive. We reflect on what caused the fight and what we can do in the future to avoid it. We never use old fights or wrongdoings as jokes or guilt trips on the other person. Most people will say forgive and forget. We take a different approach, forgive, but remember what caused it and what you can do to prevent it in the future.
We Grow Together
We know that in 10 years we are not going to be the same people that we are today. We’re not even the same people that we were when we met. As our relationship grows, so do we. What makes us work is the fact that we want to grow together, we want to evolve and we want to help make each other the best people we can be.
Both with each other and at each other. We have our own little jokes, we get each other’s sense of humor and we try to do things every day to bring a smile to the other person’s face.
This was something that we had to relearn when we moved in together, and it’s something we still work on. Noelle has always had the notion, and it’s a great one, that you can never stop dating. In that spirit, we love to go on little adventures together, whether it’s a baseball game, the horse races, weekend getaways, family events, or trips to the lake. We also realize that you don’t always have to go out for it to be a date. A barbeque night with Jack Daniels and a movie is a perfectly acceptable date.
It’s the Little Things
We realize that money isn’t everything and that you don’t have to spend a lot of money to have fun (see barbeque date above). While the diamond necklace, fancy clothes and new road bike would be nice to have, we know it won’t make us happy. Little things, like random flowers, little notes, and random trips are just as exciting and make the best memories.
We’re Best Friends
Anytime anything big happens in my life Noelle is the first to know. She comforts me when I’m feeling down, encourages me to keep on going, supports me when I’m having a tough time, and celebrates all of my little accomplishments. She genuinely cares about what happened during my day and wants to know everything about me. We both consider ourselves lucky that we get to wake up next to each other and come home to one another.
We Work At It
This kind of ties into everything else in this post, but we know that relationships can be difficult sometimes, just like life. We’re constantly working on how to be better people and better partners. The great thing though, is that when you love someone, truly love them, it doesn’t feel like work. It’s something that you want to do. Something that you wake up every morning excited to do.
I think the biggest reason as to why “we work” is due to the fact that we love each other. It’s hard to break down love and your relationship into finite little parts to explain why it works. When you’re in love everything just works, all these little things come natural and they are all things that you want to do to make the other person happy. It’s an amazing experience to walk through life with the mindset of “us” instead of “me”.
I love Noelle and I know she loves me. I can’t wait for this next stage of our life and the many adventures that we will share together. We both know that we will change, we both know that life will change, but we know that we want to go through it together. And I think that is the reason why we work.
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It’s pretty crazy to think that in 150 days I will be walking down the aisle (bawling my eyes out) and marrying my favorite dinosaur. I can’t even handle my excitement with this but I get a little overwhelmed thinking about all that I have to do. The diva attitudes, the checklist that never seems done, the spreadsheets that get more and more complicated, it seems like it doesn’t get worse than trying to plan a wedding these days.
I enjoyed this mini pity party for the stress I was dealing with until I read about other cultures. The Native American Hopi tribe has the bride go to her future mother in laws house and stay for three days. During this stay the bride has to grind cornmeal for her mother in law and her groom’s aunts come and attack the bride with mud. You guys, the bride gets covered in mud and yelled at.
I no longer can complain about what I deal with during this wedding. What was the most stressful part about wedding planning for you?
Dino Boy and I have had something filling up every day on the calendar for the past couple weeks, I finally had enough! We decided to have a mini getaway and head to Monterey to relax and recharge before going back to the insanity that is somehow our lives these days! We took the convertible Saturday morning and headed on our way! There is something about the wind in your hair, Frozen blaring from the stereo and the love of your life in the passenger seat that makes you realize you are so blessed and all of those day to day worries seem useless.
We went whale watching, a first for both of us and a fantastic experience. I’m not one for sitting still for long periods of time but somehow time flew by so quickly. It was so wonderful looking at these ginormous beautiful creatures that just seem to be having so much fun. We had a couple swim up to our boat and play. Seeing whales blow bubbles and chase each other is probably the silliest thing I’ve seen.
I love having these getaways to rest, and reconnect with the ones you love. We came back last night with a clear mind, less worry and more love for one another and the obstacles we face on a day to day basis. Blessed is the one word that comes to my mind when I think about everything now. How blessed are we all to be alive and happy with one another! What is your favorite place to go for a weekend?
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Do you ever have one of those weeks that makes you feel like your to do list is taking over and you will never get all of it done? I’m having that now and I’m so excited to finally have a weekend off to celebrate with the best boy! Last year we celebrated Valentines day on the 15th due to distance and it looks like our special date this year will be that way as well.
On the 14th we will be enjoying a beautiful meal made by Dino Boy (ladies, marry a man who cooks…..he can fart, snore and burp if he makes dinner every night and the love chub I have gained due to his culinary abilities prove this! ) and cuddle up with House of Cards. Last year we both dressed up for dinner at home so I thought it might be fun to do the same this year. I’m busting out this gorgeous red lace Kate spade dress!
On the 15th we will head until the city to grab cocktails with family and then go out to dinner and then go see Tom Papa at a comedy club.
What are you ladies doing this weekend?
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